Sunday, May 30, 2010

Memorial Day Weekend

I know what this weekend is about.   Primarily, its about honoring our fallen dead who have sacrificed in our wars to keep us free.   But I know lots of warriors who never shot a gun.  One of them is my mom, who is buried at Gardens of Memory in Marion, In.   My husband works as a funeral planner at a local funeral home and memorial park.  Ironic, I suppose.  This is his busy weekend.  He has worked 12 hour days all week and will through Monday.  My dad and I spent the day together yesterday.  I planned to go, after church and a memorial service at my husband's cemetary, to go visit my mom's grave.   I've been up there twice this month already.  However, my dad, as is his wont lately, has another excuse not to go up there with me.  I know he finds it hard to go, and I went up on Mother's day with my husband.   But I plan not to push him. 

My mom would understand, I think.  Her grave is very tidy, decorated, as is my Grandparents grave.   So no need to spruce it up at this point.   I will see what the day brings.   After all, she admonished me, if my grave doesn't look nice I'll haunt you.   Well, mother, it looks just fine.

Have a nice day everyone.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mother's Day

Yes, another milestone day.  I'm not as upset today as I was on my Mom's birthday, but it doesn't mean I'm bouncing off the walls either.  It's early and I am getting up, starting to get ready for church.  Mother's Day was always a special day for my Mom and me.  Not just because it was Mother's day, which could be enough, but because it always fell either the day before or on my birthday.   Last year, my last Mother's day with my mom, it fell on my Birthday.  We celebrated it in the confines of the Mayo clinic in Rochester, MN.  It fell over a weekend, and thankfully, there were no tests to be run on her during those two days.  While I was going through it, I felt that it was the worst birthday of my life, and that spending those two weeks in that hotel room with my mom and dad, wondering what was going to happen each day, watching my mom unable to hardly stand, go to the bathroom on her own, and choking on her food, was the most terrifying thing I had ever experienced. 

Funny how a year gives you perspective.  I realize now that God put me there for a reason.   I had to take two weeks off work to go up there and almost didn't go.  I know now, that if I hadn't, several things would have happened.  My Dad might have had a heart attack from the stress of being there alone and caring for my mom.  But the main thing was that I would have lost two precious weeks of being alone with my parents for the last time.  Yes, there were sad and trying times and it was hard.   But there were fun times, sitting there watching silly Golden Girls episodes, making my mom laugh, watching my parents interact in loving ways, that were soon to pass. 

So, remember, that every moment is precious.  No matter how difficult it may seem, you need to work through it and give of yourself to those you love.  For you never know if its the very last time you will get that chance.   Did I dream that would be the last birthday, the last Mother's day, the last everything I would spend with my mom?  Even in her condition, no way.   But it was. 

I thank God for pushing me to do that, giving me the foresight to know what I had to do, and the strength to just do it.  Happy Mother's Day, Momma.  I hope today is good for you.