Have you ever been talking to someone and you think, "This person has no clue what I'm going through and no idea what they are talking about."
I imagine you probably thought it and didn't say it, but it still bothered you anyway.
My little post today is about walking the walk, not just talking the talk. To preface, someone doesn't have to have gone through exactly what you are going through to give you advice or to give you comfort. But to give the cliched, "I know exactly what you must be going through" line is stupid. Don't say that to anyone. Ever. Nobody knows exactly what a person is going through, because you aren't them. Don't offer advice to people when they don't ask for it and don't be syrupy sweet with them. Sorry for the rant. Now on to my subject.
One of the most off-putting things a person can do around someone that is grieving, sad, or going through a tough patch is to offer advice about it and not do it themselves. Raising hand:::: Yeah, I've done it. It drives me crazy when other people do it, so I need to walk the walk. Can you tell that this is more for me than the reader? When I tell someone not to stress, I need to not stress about the same exact thing. When I tell someone to trust in God, I need to do it too. When I tell someone not to gossip, judge or do any other myriad of things I might say to someone, I need to not do it either.
What does the first paragraph have to do with the second? Sometimes people offer advice, comfort, or false platitudes to people that have lost a loved one, have a disease, have lost their job, or are just plagued by stress and anxiety and A)have never experienced anything even close to what you are going through B) wouldn't follow the advice they are giving if there was a gun held to their head or C)Both.
For readers of my blog, you know I lost my mother about three years ago. Now most people, unless you are very young or just plain fortunate, have lost somebody close to you. But everyone is different. You may not have been in the same situation or had the same exact thing happen to you the same exact way. The way people die or deal with death is as different as we are as people. Remember that.
Also, if I catch you saying I know exactly what you are going through, I might have to do something physical. After all , it will be for your own good.
