I was scrolling down my Facebook newsfeed this week and looking a the "friends" posts there. I was taken by all the people that had been part of different times of my life. There were friends I had known since I was a kid, family, work friends, friends from different churches I have attended, work colleagues, the list goes on.
You have no idea how many people who touch over your life. Facebook just has a way of putting it into one place. I thought about some of the friends from my high school days meeting friends I have now and if they would be talking about the same person. Am I different than I was then? Assuredly in some ways, yes. But I wonder if there are similarities they would find interesting, even all these years later.
I look at all the people there and wonder, do they really know me? Do they know the REAL me? Do they want to know the REAL me?
I ponder these things at great length and wonder if people would still like me if they knew the REAL me. I always feel like I have a mask on, sometimes even with those closest to me. I put on a mask for whoever I'm with. Don't get me wrong, I have certain principles and beliefs that don't change no matter who I'm with. But in some way I am a chameleon.
So, my goal this year it to try to be the same with everyone. I think I'm doing better with this, because frankly, its too exhausting the other way!
Interesting thoughts,Deb. I have felt that way about myself in the past; the 'mask'. I never put a description of it together, but what you wrote covers it. Over the last few years ( with everything that has happened in my life ) I am feeling like it has been removed somehow. It took me awhile, but I think I am finally the 'real' me. I think I have found her! I would not wish anyone to have to go through what I have been through to find their true self. I guess I was forced into it. I am finally comfortable with me.. AND, it may be that you just need a few more years down the road. And in some ways, I think reconnecting with Facebook has helped. Reaching back into the past and collecting it together with the present may have something to do with it; to bring the whole person, past and present, into focus. Well, that is my take on it, anyway.
ReplyDelete