Making life not just Living it

I have been thinking lately about a lot of things.  This can be good, but sometimes, in my case, it can be a very bad thing.   I have one of those minds where I am start thinking about someone having a spot on their cheek and I have them dead in about 10 minutes.  I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.  If you don't, be glad.
In business, that mind can be a great thing, because you are always one step ahead.  But in everyday life, it can be stress-inducing.

Let me explain.   My Dad has been doing well with my Mom's abscence.  When I say well, I mean that he still is able to function, he does things, he takes care of himself, his home, etc.  He even has little part time jobs he does.  However, sometimes my Dad shows signs of memory loss, racing thoughts etc.  Being the zero to sixty person I am.  I have been watching him for signs of Alzheimers.  I don't think he has it, mind you.  But at the very least he has moments.  So I pull back from the abyss and think.  My Dad has always battled some depression.  My Dad is 76 years old and will have some memory loss.  He hasn't forgotten how to do things, he doesn't call me in a panic that he has misplaced his checkbook.  So I say to myself, lonliness, depression and grief can cause the mind to do all sorts of things.    Why do I know this?  Because its happened to me and I'm not 76 yet.

I have racing thoughts, I forget things, I have depression.  Do I have Alzheimers, probably not.  Yes, I know its important to watch an elderly parent to make sure they are not exhibiting signs of this, but obsess about it?  Probably not. 

So what does all this have to do with making life, not just living it?  I've spent the better part of my adult life worrying about something.  True story.  From my Grandmother and Grandfather and their health, to my Mom and Dad, to my own health, finances, jobs.  I could go on.  But what I realized during my Mom's illness was that not only is worry a sign of unbelief its like telling God that he really doesn't get how hard YOUR life is.  I don't know about you, but I don't think I am brave enough to say that to God.  I'm not brave enough to look Him in the eye let alone speak.  Does it mean that its not human to worry?  No.  As a matter-of-fact, its all too human.  I give in to it less than I used to.    But I still give into it. 

My Mom used to say that her one purpose for surviving her cancer when she was in her 20s was to raise me to adulthood.   It's what kept her fighting, its what got her up in the morning for her entire life.   She prayed to live to see me grow up.  When I was grown, married and in my career and she got sick for the last time, she welled up with tears one evening when I was visiting her.  She said that God allowed everything she asked for and now that I didn't need her anymore, she was going to die.    I told her I would always need her, but she was inconsolable, for she knew that God had held up his end of the deal, now it was time to go. 

God uses the experience of my Mom's illness and her eventual death daily in my life in ways that still astound me.    It made me more patient, caring, empathetic, thankful, and most of all, less of a worrier.  I've stated this before in other blog entries, that I worried about my Mom's eventual death for a good part of my 20s and 30s.  Worry that didn't add another day to her life, worry when nothing was wrong and I could have spent in more positive time with her.   

So making life, not just living it, means this.  Wake up each day happy to be breathing.  Take the opportunity to spend time with your family every chance you get, even when you don't feel like it.  Call your parents or kids often.   I mean often.  I call my Dad every morning on my way to work and at least two other times a day.  You may not have a parent that likes that many calls, but once a week at a minimum.  Before you bring your laundry list of requests to God, thank Him.  Thank Him for letting you breathe another day, having what you have, no matter how small it is or insignificant the world may think it is.    Be happy for what you have, period.

I was at a meeting yesterday where a speaker from Dale Carnegie Training told his principals.  I didn't want to "dis" Mr. Carnegie, but he basically ripped off Jesus Christ.  Not that it isn't good ideas, but they weren't his alone.  Much of it, is in the paragraph above, with my own slant. 

Lastly, my Mom bought me a plaque at Cracker Barrel that I hung in my office over my shoulder.    It says, "I will Not Worry:  Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requestions be known to God."  Phillipians 4:6.  I have more comments about that.  I can't tell you how many.  My Mom still speaks to me and reminds me of it daily.  Through God's urgent whispers.